you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
