She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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