He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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