peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
