I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
