I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
