who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
