I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
this is an emotional support booty call
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
