exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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