There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm going to jail i love you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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