Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
