butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
