i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That's intense
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
