i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
