And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
