Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
