How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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