He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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