He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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