time to smoke my breakfast
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
