u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
