At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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