So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
