At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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