? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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