I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
