How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
