That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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