oh god the rape fog is back!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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