I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
