Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
