Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
