And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
