with your own penis?
Where is the hickey?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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