That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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