Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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