Walk of Shame. In a state park.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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