I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
