separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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