Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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