so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
