Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
