She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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