I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
