please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
