Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
