some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
