Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
