I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
