Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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