Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
