I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you win again, gameday.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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