Welp...herpes.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
