So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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